Because the object intrigued me: "Je me tâte". At first, I thought the brand was hesitating between one product and another. That they were asking my opinion. Then I read "Le Losc x CHU Lille". I wondered what the link was between a soccer club and a hospital. Then I opened the email and realized that the brand was talking about testicle self-examination. A highly important subject!
Diagnosis
- The object Attractive. Good point. But not explicit enough.
- The preheader not very explicit. And lacks fluidity when reading the object.
- The main title repetition of "Je me tâte" when we've just read it 1 second ago in the object. So there's no need to repeat it.
- Text The wording is pretty good, although it could be shortened.
- CTA The capital À is missing an accent. The link takes me to a 404 error 🙁
Suggestions
- Object (more suggestive): I'm feeling them out, are you?
- Preheader Mobilizing to detect male cancers
- Main title : Let's self-care for our testicles
- Subtitle 1 boxer + 1 self-palpation guide to raise awareness among as many people as possible
- Text I'm not going to rewrite the whole text, but I'm going to start by talking about the autopalpation guide created by urologists and oncologists. And the highly important message: "Every man should carry out the autopalpation gestures once a month from the age of 14". Isn't that the point of this email? To raise awareness.
- 2 AHUS :
- CTA 1: To give as a gift
- CTA 2 : I'll pass on the news to my friends and family
The link behind the second CTA can be a simple mailto.
- All texts are centered. This is detrimental to legibility.
Other comments
- The textual content of the red block is very cool, but I'd place it just below the button. It's an additional trigger for action (knowing that the profits from the sale will be donated to the Fonds de Dotation du CHU de Lille). The image block between the 2 doesn't serve much purpose or can be placed further down the email.
- I would have put more emphasis on the visual of the autopalpation card. It's really important. Who knows how to self-calp?
- I'd have put this super-important info up front: "According to oncologists at Lille University Hospital, every man should perform an autopalpation once a month from the age of 14." In advice mode, spread the word!
- The design of the rest of the email blocks needs to be reviewed. It looks like a succession of blocks on top of each other. It lacks unification and design.
- No alt behind the logo
- The alt behind the gif or images doesn't encourage the images to load. We could put "Visuals of the boxer shorts "Je me tâte " ".
- Mobile version: a "!" floats on its own. It must be missing a non-breaking space